- FINAL VERDICT
- AUTHENTICIY: 4 out of 5
- FOOD: 3.5 out of 5
- PRICE: Medium range, about $8-$12.
DIRECTIONS
589 Dexter Street
Central Falls, RI
(401) 726-8864
(401-726-5700
Website with hours and menu: www.elpaisa.com
THE LONG ROAD
This time we had an extra gringo, I mean gringa, come with us. She owns a successful restaurant in Newport, so we figured she’d offer a different point of view, an expert one. We’ll call her Verushka to protect her identity.
El Paisa has been open for 30 years. This a big restaurant, everything looks and feels new. Upscale is the word. It has a huge open kitchen, and a bar covered in mirrors. Not sure who wants to drink and look at themselves, but oh well. They have 2 TVs that were tuned to soccer. It is decorated rather tastefully with lots of very nice high-end photos of Colombia, not covered in with random souvenirs like most latin restaurants. Bryan Adams was playing as we sat down.
Service was quick as there was only 2 other tables occupied. The woman almost seemed a bit impatient, or maybe it’s because Colombian people speak like they’re on cocaine or something (sorry, couldn’t help it). The menu was really nice, with pictures of Colombia, and maybe it had some pictures of the food as well. It was both in English and Spanish.
We ordered a little bit of everything, as none of is was really familiar with the menu. We ordered an Arepa de Loroco, an Arepa de Queso, a Pork Tamal Colombiano, A Picada of Chorizo and Chicharron, some Morcilla (blood sausage), and for dessert a Torta de Guayaba. No chips or anything here. We ordered 3 Tecates and a Modelo Especial. Food came pretty fast.
AREPA DE LOROCO Y AREPA DE QUESO: 5 out of 5
An arepa is a square patty made with corn, similar to corn bread but very moist and sweet. They serve it with 2 big thick slices of some kind of fresh farmer cheese, and puzzlingly, Parkay squeezable butter (not butter) to squirt on top. The arepas were truly delicious. Sweet, chewy, little bits of real corn on the Arepa, the cheese on top was the perfect compliment, the Parkay butter made it a bit too rich, but it was still great. Unexpected, in a good way. The Arepa with Queso (cheese) was a bit better than the one with Loroco, because that one could’ve had way more loroco. Either way, they were both great.
TAMAL COLOMBIANO DE PUERCO: The usual suspects: 4 out of 5; Verushka: 3 out of 5
This thing is the size of a burrito, no joke. Huge. Nothing like a Mexican tamal. It comes with a side of rice and a long slice of fried plantain. The dough was abnormally yellow, and the masa (dough) is different from a Mexican tamal because of the addition of starch and coloring. This one had Pork, carrots and peas inside. Verushka noticed that the masa is more like a shell and it doesn’t blend in with the ingredients. She didn’t like that. The insides were more like stewed, and she didn’t like that either. The insides yummy, but I agree the stewiness was a little off. Sometime you got a chunk of pork that was mostly fat, and ouch!. I brought one home and my wife wasn’t crazy about it either. We thought it tasted pretty good.
PICADA DE CHORIZO Y CHICHARRON: guatemexigringo: 3 out of 5; Verushka: 4 out of 5
This read inoffensive enough, but we all went WOW went it showed up. A large plate covered in tiny boiled potatoes, homemade tater tots, chunks of chorizo, and chunks of fried pork rind with fat and meat. It looked menacing. And it was the $10 plate, not the $20. We all tried the tater tots first, they looked harmless. They were nice and airy, refreshing. The tiny boiled potatoes were good too. The chorizo had an unexpected flavor, it had some kind of herb that had a strong taste. It was more like a fried sausage than chorizo. The Pork rinds were very tasty, but not for the faint or heart. Or for people with high cholesterol, or heart disease for that matter. It was dry and hard to eat and chew, but somehow it was good. It’s a shame they don’t give you some kind of salsa or cabbage or something to add to this, because it was kind of dry. All the carbs you need in a month for only $10.
MORCILLA EN AREPA: 2 out of 5
Something was lost in translation from Mexicanese to Colombianese. This read in the menu as a blood sausage on top of an arepa, which I thought would be daring to order. It came in as a large plate full of blood sausage. We all looked at each other and giggled like junior high girls. Surprisingly, this was the mildest and most well mannered “morcilla” any of us had ever tried. It looked nasty and mean, but when you bit into it, it was dry, flat and monotone. It didn’t even have that overwhelming smell you’ve come to expect from guts and blood that’s been boiled and fried. Upon further inspection, it looked like this blood sausage was mostly rice with blood. I always thought blood sausage was a poor man’s food, but this must’ve been a really poor man’s sausage.
TORTA DE GUAYABA: 2 out of 5
Dessert, why not? The Guatemalan was keen on trying the Guava cake. A huge slice came in with a petrified dollop of cream on top. It was a 2 layer sponge cake with guava paste filling and covered in it as well, like frosting. The taste wasn’t horrible, it just that the bread was really dry and it tasted like it had been in the refrigerator for a week, or longer.
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